Monday blues

Its been a while that i’ve written something.

Let me rephrase that,

Something meaningful,

aside from my frequent array of short excerpts and silly blogs.

Lately, it seems as if i’ve been hiding in all the wrong places

Engaging in the wrong activities.

I’ve recently found myself pondering on the idea

Of change

Not the good type of change, if there is such

But the type where you cant simply click an undo button

or rewind back to where you came from.

A loss of touch with my identity perhaps,

Where its come down to the ultimate question of who am I becoming

To where i want to go.

Its been a while since i’ve last felt this way

It could be the excessive quantity of alcohol

I’ve ingested the past couple of days,

Or the loss of brain cells due to the

amount of times I’ve been out past 3 am getting high.

I’ve been running,

But which direction?

It depends on who you’d ask.

My mother and father would simply answer south

My dealers, north

Way up high

My friends, North West, maybe East South

Whichever way our drunk minds will allow us to.

Sorry, didn’t mean to drive your brain in circles solving riddles.

The point is, someone knows

And soon, I will to

Wether i find the answer in the bottom of my next spirit over the rocks

Or inbetween the ashes of my rolled up spliff.

If I’m lucky, hopefully in my dreams

when i finally get some sleep.

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Morning after 

Room spinning

As you stand in front of the mirror
In last nights dress
Your breath wincing of cigarettes and day old whiskey 
Head pounding as you attempt to reoccur the events of the night before 
As you drank to forget
The times you spent with him
The times you didn’t need Jack Daniels to remind you how to be happy 
The times a hangover was nothing but the 5 minutes after he kissed you goodbye 
That 5 minute hangover that elongated into countless blackouts 
and meaningless hookups
As you lost yourself searching for his one last kiss
But once again,
ended up with nothing 
but that poisonous bottle against your lips 
And that heinous hangover the morning after