Inches closer

Missing you         

I was inches closer to forgetting how much I missed you.

Well, letting go of the thought of missing you, at the very least.

Its been days since your last fingerprints faded off my skin.

Yet, your footsteps keep leaving a mark

as the story of our last goodbye is retold in my mind,

over and over.

I’ve always been a fein,

always craved your touch.

I thought,

that maybe i could built up a tolerance,

and get used to the distance the further it got.

But your presence subdues any high.

And being my deepest inhale, I cant bear to simply exhale you out.

And i’ve tried,

But it doesn’t work when you keep leaving me astray of your presence,

and commend me to continue craving more at every break of dawn.

Besides, your kisses only last so long,

when they’re far gone every morning.

I was inches closer to to blurring the constant notice of your absence,

Inches closer to being detached from your withdrawal

and inches closer to numbing the thought of missing you.

Except,

I’m thousands of miles away and consequently, inches subside into centimeters

And to be honest, in the end,

being centimeters closer to letting go

might even be to soon

and my bodies not ready

to stop missing you.

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September 3rd 2015

New month, old ending and new beginning. Well, thats my perspective on the subject.

Due to my spring-term acceptance, I have an extra 5 months of doing nothing, in other words vacation. Doing nothing is not my thing, well, sometimes.

In August my friends began college, others still in high school and me, well…. nothing.

I decided I was going to enjoy some of my time off and switch up my setting. I decided to book a flight to Brazil for a month. Nothing planned. Just a whole month away from Miami because I need some time off and why not?

My goals are to meet new people, explore new places, try new things, and return to Miami with a months worth full of memories and experiences.

I have limited resources here when it comes to all that i mentioned above.

My concrete plan is to be spending time with my family.

The timing of my vacation wasn’t exactly the most convenient due to the fact that my family here in Brazil is going through a rough patch with my grandma recovering from surgery and all, and the fact that classes are still in session.

So back to my resources:

1 cousin my age willing to take me out. However, he has classes everyday and is living the taken life, so I’m sure we’re going to have to be running most our plans through his girlfriend.

1 cousin slightly older but adventurous. Engineer and businessman so his schedule is very limited. However, this weekend is a long weekend so we are taking advantage and going hiking.

1 friend/“sugar d” whom is practically a stranger who i met 3 years ago but we reconciled 2 weeks ago in Miami. Has money, however, i’m not quite sure of his intentions…

1 friend whom I went out with the last time I came to Brazil. My best hope.

Ultimately,

my spontaneous urge to leave Miami for a month has brought me to this present situation.

32 days in a country away from home

No plans

Just hope

The conditions aren’t as high on the scale as I’d like them to be, but i’m positive I will get there.

Lets see where this month takes me.

Monday blues

Its been a while that i’ve written something.

Let me rephrase that,

Something meaningful,

aside from my frequent array of short excerpts and silly blogs.

Lately, it seems as if i’ve been hiding in all the wrong places

Engaging in the wrong activities.

I’ve recently found myself pondering on the idea

Of change

Not the good type of change, if there is such

But the type where you cant simply click an undo button

or rewind back to where you came from.

A loss of touch with my identity perhaps,

Where its come down to the ultimate question of who am I becoming

To where i want to go.

Its been a while since i’ve last felt this way

It could be the excessive quantity of alcohol

I’ve ingested the past couple of days,

Or the loss of brain cells due to the

amount of times I’ve been out past 3 am getting high.

I’ve been running,

But which direction?

It depends on who you’d ask.

My mother and father would simply answer south

My dealers, north

Way up high

My friends, North West, maybe East South

Whichever way our drunk minds will allow us to.

Sorry, didn’t mean to drive your brain in circles solving riddles.

The point is, someone knows

And soon, I will to

Wether i find the answer in the bottom of my next spirit over the rocks

Or inbetween the ashes of my rolled up spliff.

If I’m lucky, hopefully in my dreams

when i finally get some sleep.